Oh, the Founders You'll Meet!

Oh, the Founders You’ll Meet!

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Oh, the Founders You'll Meet!

Today is your day.
You’ve got your degree!
You’ll start your career as an interviewee.
You’re ready to go.
You know all your stuff.
But maybe you’ll find that that stuff’s not enough.
The people you’ll work for
Are the Valley’s elite.
So get ready to hear
of the Founders You’ll Meet!

elephant-twitter

Here’s Scotty Farnocky, a confident gent.
Should you sign up to be under his tent?
He certainly seems to give off a strong aura.
At least judging from his last answer on Quora.
His tweets are retweeted by those who retweet.
His LinkedIn profile is fully complete.
He’s leveraging social in all the best ways,
I wonder what else he does with his days.
He has to stay out there to generate buzz.
He has no idea what his company does.

Oh, the founders you’ll meet!
Such a curious bunch!
You’ll soon get to meet them,
If they show up for lunch!
They’ll give you a tour.
They’ll show you the kitchen.
They’ll try to explain the new model they’re pitching.

party_guy

Hello, Danny Doodle.
Why, how does it go?
You certainly are quite a sharp startup bro.
You look like an actor.
You dress like a model.
You talk just as fast as you drink from that bottle.
Your business has failed but your funding is hearty.
I can’t help but think that you’re in this to party.

Oh, the founders you’ll meet!
They’re all so unique.
They certainly hold all the fortune you seek.
Believe what they say.
They all seem so sure.
They pitched to a guy who knew Dave McClure.

mba_guy

Meet Samuel Grunk,
With his new MBA.
I advise you to listen to what he will say.
He’s done all the work to refine all his pitches.
He’s found novel ways to scratch itchy itches.
The feedback resounds from all the resounders.
No, I don’t know any technical cofounders.

Oh, the founders you’ll meet!
You should love them a lot!
They’ve had to work hard to get where they’ve got.
Some know what they’re talking about.
Others are bunk.
Telling the difference is nothing but luck.

question_mark

Who is it I see at that desk all alone?
He’s on some computer, ignoring his phone.
How will he tweet when he’s so busy coding?
Why can’t he see that his Klout is eroding?
He seems to have customers lined up at his feet.
Perhaps this is the type of founder you should actually meet.

 

Illustrations by Marni Kleper. Font: Doctor Soos

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5 Comments

  1. Lie Combinator
    September 18, 2013

    Cool poem, bro!

  2. toli
    September 18, 2013

    I only wish I could leave a rhyming comment…
    This poem is awesome. Funny, witty and very instructional!

  3. September 18, 2013

    A treasure lies in these words. Scott, this is an amazing article! Reminds me of something…. here it goes:

    English translation of “Le laboureur et ses enfants”, from Jean de la Fontaine

    The farmer and his children

    Work hard, sweat all you can:
    Riches is what counts the least.
    A rich farmer, sensing his impending death,
    Called for his children, and spoke to them without witnesses.
    Do not sell the inheritance left by our parents, he said,
    As a treasure is hidden in it.
    I do not know where, but with a bit of courage
    You will find it, you will figure it out.
    Go search the field when summer ends.
    Dig, scratch, plow, do not leave no earth unturned
    Anywhere your hands can reach.
    After the father’s death, the sons worked the field
    Everywhere, over and over again, so that within a year
    It produced more than ever before.
    There was no money to be found, but the father had been wise
    To show them before his death
    That work is a treasure.

  4. Akshay
    September 19, 2013

    Man, I miss working with you Klep. Even more awesome than usual.

  5. Rob
    September 20, 2013

    Ditto on the awesomeness sentiment expressed by the others Klep! The illustrations are quite lovely too :-)

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